Monday, April 9, 2007


philip and i were driving up to mohegan sun
to see the p.b.a. toc,
that’s professional bowlers’ association tournament of champions
to all of you who aren’t as cool as us
when my cell phone rang while we were on i95
somewhere in connecticut.

“uncle david? it’s michelle”
“hey sweetie.”
“where do you live in the city?”
“”28th street and 8th avenue, why?”
“i came into the city with daddy to see a show, and i don’t know where he is. we got separated, and i don’t know what to do. i’m on 40th and 8th.”
“have you called him?”
“he isn’t answering his cellphone and neither is mommy.”
“i’m not in the city, i’m driving to connecticut. let me think for a second. mmm, are there any …
“april fool’s.”

it was now a toss-up as to whether i was prouder of her for this
or singing g-d bless america
during the 7th inning stretch at shea
from the top of the mets dugout a few years back



why does your soap have to be scented
in every room i go
when i wash my hands in the bathroom
not unscented hypoallergenic
but instead a somehow flowery blend of cranberry and nuts

i don’t want my hands to smell
for the rest of the evening
so i think i’ll use your dish soap
yes i think i’ll use your dish soap.
joy, oh joy


the radio’s on in the kitchen
this first morning of this passover
and everyone’s gathered around the table
as my dad makes us matzah brei for breakfast
my sister-in-law points out
that it’s cristina aguilera on the radio
and i started to say how she once a whore
in the way she would dress and what she’d sing,
any my eldest niece amy,
my 18-yr-old niece amy,
launched a vicious defense,
defending her by attacking me
all without taking a breath
and this seemed real strange
as her tastes go more toward the fake punk rock
and when she didn’t let up i did what any good debater does,
i went for her weakest point.
“wow, your father’s right, you are just like him.
you are just like my brother.”
and quickly we had a little more room at the table this morning.



if i could be your friend
i’d be the best friend that i could be
we would go for walks in the park
i’d give you a boost to climb that old tree (that you like)

if i could be your friend
i would tell the whole world
because i think they’d be cool with another mass email
as in the park we twirled (our batons)

if i could be your friend
we could lead a parade
down avenue a into tompkins square park
watch reruns of we got it made (shorty shea)
watch reruns of we got it made


email from my big sister
whose real estate magazine i copy edit
jack kennedy died she mentioned
and we had to write a few words about him
but jack kennedy died four decades ago
so i ignore her
until she emails me again
says jack kennedy was a union man,
and read the newsday article last week.

and so i write here these few lines and email her back:

as this issue went to press jack kennedy, a legendary figure in our industry passed away. kennedy, the president of the building & construction trade council of nassau-suffolk, will be missed. he is most known for his wanting to gather people to help themselves. "ask not what your trade council can do for you," kennedy said memorably, "ask what you can do for your trade council."

her next email’s subject line:

edited by me - kennedy is this okay? how do we know he was most known for this?


we’re watching the show numbers from my parents’ bed
mom on the right dad on the left,
i crawl up between them a little bit
then realize i need pillows to see the tv.


tried to watch fear and loathing in las vegas with ian
in long island in my parents’ den
but after an hour there was no plot
and we weren’t high
so we switched to pay-per-view the people vs. john lennon
but i kept looking at the running time
as the movie proceeded
and the film only dealt with the actual court case from the title
for about 20 minutes
though it was nice seeing abbie hoffman,
as always.


poets are suing poets
over poet stuff
over interviews given to an online anthology
now trying to be gathered into a print version.
they didn’t get your permission?
then give it to them and be done with it.
get your contributor’s copies and be done with it.
once you’ve said it online everyone has it anyways,
so get over it,


we’re watching move over, darling
this 1963 doris day movie
where james garner plays her husband
“she’s looking old for him,” i tell my folks.
we’re going to play this game that i like to play
just with my mom, dad, and me,
what year was doris day born?
what day was james garner born?
i write down everyone’s guesses
and dad got james garner’s year, 1928,
and i got doris day’s, 1924.

did you know he was born james baumgarner?


i still can’t get over the gilmore girls
how i enjoy the episodes
again and again,
but tonight another rerun,
come back
to me,


finally home
after 10 days away
sanjaya’s safe and so am i



i would like just lynn xu
to read to me all of the time
i don’t know if her work is good
it’s always weird the tricks that the ears play
but i know how a voice sounds,
and like how her voice sounds
low, semisoft moved by rhythm and tone
i would like just lynn xu
to read to me all of the time


didn’t want to leave my apartment to have dinner with my folks,
didn’t want to go downstairs to get food they brought
all i wanted to do was keep the lights off as the sun set
all i wanted to do was take a nap.


sports radio 66 wfan to bed
as always
and a caller is comparing
what was done to don imus
with what eugene mccarthy did with communism in the ’60s
saying it again.
the host doesn’t correct him,
and for a second i wanna call up
but i don’t feel like getting out of bed.


everyone is wearing number 42 on the dodgers today
25 of the 300 plus players honoring the memory of jackie robinson
on the 60th anniversary of the rebreaking of the color barrier in major league baseball
by wearing his number,
retired by baseball 10 years ago today.
this couldn’t be done with football
because the announcers would be confused
as to who caught a pass, who a penalty was against,
no matter how well they paid attention.


last minute details to iron out
what are yr dreams about
what are yr dreams about

take me out again
and ride me home
It’s how it should be
Yeah, yeah, yeah
It’s how it should be
Yeah, yeah, yeah


how do you find yr way home
when yre already there
lorelai gilmore
walking out of the haybale maze


$15 being taken out of my commerce bank account
I thought they were the good bank
Good bank


work on the paper all day
blow off yr birthday dinner
but we know I probably would have blown it off
although I love you
see I don’t feel like seeing people who I kinda sorta know
much more than I have to
right now


75 degrees,
the straps of yr purse dividing yr tanktop,
you arrive in the third inning
and for the first time i’m ok with that.
i ignore yr boyfriend.

you leave in the sixth
but i wait to spread out a seat more
and you two return in the bottom of the seventh
and yre eating chocolate carvel
w/colored sprinkles
out of an upturned mets helmet.
75 degrees.


10 yrs later
on lithium
not me working
at a porn mag
calmed down a bit
life med-ing me down
get some sleep
then twirl around


sent the paper to the printer
and I should not have masturbated
should have gone to sleep right away
but I wanted to relax
and then on 90 minutes of sleep
I trained out to long island
Met my mother
Got the car
Then drove out to the printer
And the map from their website
It got me lost in long island city
before i called and got directions
and then he said
reverse everything I just told you
and one block later
I knew where I was
Picked up the papers
And picked up jon to help distribute
And we didn’t know how to get to Williamsburg
By taking the streets
So we took the lie to the bqe
And then we started to distribute papers
Before lower east side yonah schimmel kasha knish stop
And then we kept going
Before I left him at the f on 23rd street
It was rush hour and I didn’t want to sit in traffic
So I parked across from London terrace
Where I once saw teri hatcher
I had to sit in the car until six o’clock
When you could park there
And I went home to my apartment
Did some work on the computer
Dad said he needed the car back that night
so after gray’s anatomy
I drove back to long island
For 11:30
But did not go straight to bed
Had gray’s anatomy and October road
To watch
I think I need to get to sleep now.


the collection man is bad cop today
his mr. good cop has gone away
he wants me to borrow from peter to pay paul
but I tell him I can’t pay at all
which turns the collection man to bad cop today
and it seems he will not go away